Monday 24 September 2007

MeMeMe!

I have been ‘MeMed’ by the lovely Crystal Jigsaw, and, having been completely floored at first, (never the quickest to catch on), but having eventually worked it out, I think, here is my attempt – and the lesson learnt is, don’t give yourself a long cyber name.

S is for Suffolk, of course. As I’ve probably written before, my love for this unassuming yet beautiful part of the word happened late in my life. I had no connection with East Anglia, or so I thought, and barely knew it before moving here seven years ago. At first I missed London and thought the countryside unexciting and too demure for my tastes, the pace of life too quiet and slow. But then I learnt to slow down, and I looked around me properly. Beyond the vast swathes of corn lay low gentle hills, remnants of ancient forests, and some of the most beautiful medieval towns and churches in the country. Looming out of seas of grain, the vernacular really takes your breath away. I am spoiled now and used to half-timbered, colour-washed houses, empty countryside and villages that time forgot. I love watching my children growing up here and enjoying a rural childhood that seems to be disappearing across swathes of this country. I loved discovering that my great great granddad was born close to where I now live, unbeknown to our family, who’d never known where he’d come from. I love putting down roots.

U is for uplands. At the risk of seeming a little contrary, given what I’ve written above, I still admit that my heart lies with mountains. I can live – and happily, too – in the lowlands, but give me a taste of northern moors and hills and I’m refreshed again. Apart from Northumberland, I love the Lakes, the Scottish highlands, Dartmoor and Ireland. I’m sure I’d love Wales too, if I ever get there. “Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen” – that’s me on my perfect holiday.

F is for food. I used to be secretly proud of my inability to cook, or to care much about food at all, given that I thought I was a terribly important career girl who existed on diet coke, red wine and restaurant meals. Me and the kitchen eyed each other with suspicion. Then I had children, and realised I wanted to nurture them. What they – and we – put into our bodies suddenly gained the importance it should have had long ago. I can’t say I pureed organic food exclusively, or that I am even now a slave to the Aga. But I try, and I enjoy it, and food has become central to the rituals that we as a family love. The kitchen table is used for chatting, for homework, for drawing, and for arguing, as well as for eating. Please don’t get me wrong – we’re not the Waltons (though I always quite fancied that house). We’re far more like the Simpsons (especially when it comes to Doughnuts). But, just to jump on a passing bandwagon, we do grow a lot of our own food, and we all have a go at cooking it, and plan our meals for big occasions with huge relish. I hope it makes my children healthier then me. And just as greedy.

Another F – this time for family. Not just my husband and children, but the wider lot – and particularly those no longer with us. I’m lucky in that I have always loved the company of my parents and sister and cousins etc. But like most people, and as is entirely natural, I was quite happy to form my own ‘new’ family from friends in my teens and twenties. My closest friends are still hugely important to me. But as I’ve got older, I’ve found that you really can’t escape your family. They turn up in your children, in the expressions that come out of my mouth, and probably the expressions on my face. They’re always there, in the background, the ones in the sepia photographs, and the ones still at the other end of a phone. After all, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.

O is for Oak. It’s hard to choose my favourite tree – I love so many, and for so many different reasons. Beeches and willows and rowans and birches and maples leap into my mind, and there is the most beautiful ash tree that I can see swaying in the wind as I write. But I’ll settle for oaks – I am English, after all – on the basis that I live in a timber framed house, made mostly of oak. So I feel extra protected by this most protective and paternal of trees, and marvel daily at the huge thick timbers all around me that creak and shift in a high wind.

L is for Lad’s Love, the old name for the herb Southernwood. My fingers were hesitating over the keyboard, not sure whether this was a bit heavy, a bit maudlin, for a blog post, but I can see its feathery leaves from where I’m sitting, and it won’t leave my mind. For there was someone once who meant the world to me, and who died when he was little more than a lad, and although as far as I can recall he couldn’t tell a herb from a lettuce leaf, I think of him when I see this tall, gentle, beautiful plant, and remember its old name.

K – A hard one this. Kite, kettle, kitten? My daughter, whose name begins with a K? But if I choose her, then what about my boy, who’s initial isn’t in my cybername? Anyway, I’m sure I’ll get them in somewhere. So having talked about old loves, I’ll move onto current loves, and K is for Kent, where my husband comes from. The word brings to mind the North Downs, and apple orchards, and weatherboarded houses, and market gardens and blossom. And of course my husband, who is apparently a Man of Kent, rather than a Kentish man. It matters. It also stands for Kelpie, the old name for a water sprite, because our cottage is bounded by a stream, and even this little, insignificant stretch of water weaves its very own magic.

M is for motherhood (I told you I’d get the children in somewhere). It still amazes me that my identity as a mother, which is so vital, now, to my sense of self, is still so recent. Nine years ago I had no clue, and although I’d always wanted to be a mother, ‘some day’, I didn’t really know why. I just thought I’d have a go, a bit like taking up a new sport. The laugh was on me, of course. In many ways, I am still astonished, when I stop to think about it, that I am somehow old enough to have responsibility for these vibrant things that I helped to create. I mean, of course I know I’m plenty old enough – I was no spring chicken when I had my first. But like most of us, I muddle along, crossing my fingers that I’m doing OK, still feeling about twelve, and constantly bowled over by these beings who I’ve known for such a short time, and who now dominate my life.

Another U – I’m running out of inspiration, but think I’ll plump for Umbria. I’m not sure that I can pinpoint an exact time when my love affair with Italy started, but certainly studying for a few months at the vast university in Perugia didn’t get in the way. Softer and greener than Tuscany, perhaps a bit less endowed with architectural wonders but no less lacking in natural beauty, Umbria doesn’t need me to sell it. But what stays in my mind most of all isn’t the baked earth or the hilltop towns or the sun, or even the food, but the cold winter nights in the town, the smell of roasting chestnuts, wandering through medieval arcades, pressing my face against the most fantastic chocolate shops, Italians muffled elegantly against the cold, steaming cappuccinos in tiny, noisy cafes.

And last, another M – this time for the moon, and mystery, and magic – all the things, along with love, that make my heart beast faster.

Hell, that was hard work. I guess I’m supposed to pass the baton on to some others now, but I’m never sure who’s already done it, or who wants to, so I’ll leave it at this – if you’re reading this, and haven’t yet had a go, be my guest!

26 comments:

Westerwitch/Headmistress said...

Oh sigh . . . I haven't done my homework yet . . did you have to do your so very very well . . now you have set the standard so high I think I will have to fake, badly, a sick note.

Suffolkmum that was a truly lovely piece of 'homework and writing.

Westerwitch/Headmistress said...

'Have to do yourssssss' that should have read . . no s on your . . .good grief I can't even get the comment right on your blog let alone do my homework . . stomps off . . .falls over . . . stomps off some more muttering about teachers pet . . . .

Anonymous said...

That was an excellent read. Thank you for giving us a mere insight into your fascinating world. Beautiful writing as always.

Crystal xx

Anonymous said...

I love your writing. It's like I'm in your world when I read it. Always interesting.

Maggie Christie said...

Another beautiful bit of writing. Thoughtful and poignant.
I was intrigued by the L and couldn't agree more with the M -mine are bellowing in my ear as I type this!

@themill said...

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I just love your writing.

Faith said...

Mmmm you always write so well! Maybe I will take up the challenge. Do you think we have kelpies in our river; i'd like to think so!

Un Peu Loufoque said...

with all teh lettes in my nam eyou must be joking!!! well written as ever suffolk mum!!!

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

Love them all SM but motherhood and food particularly evocative for me. Fantastic read as always.

Cait O'Connor said...

Well done you had some hard letters there and repeats! I have been Memed too so will put my mind to it now. I really enjoyed yours.

Woozle1967 said...

Great!

BTW, J is a Kentish Man (dare I say that?) - west of the Medway to those who don't know!! And his cousin used to live in Perugia - her heart is still there but her body in Sevenoaks........xx

Jan said...

THis is a wonderful thoughtful blog posting.
Can we hear more about how you discovered the nearby "ancestor"??

muddyboots said...

that was a real good read, l too am partialed to the good old oak tree, so much history

Exmoorjane said...

Ah, my friend (hope I can call you that, despite the fact we;ve never met) that was very lovely. As always resonances.... Adrian loves Suffolk deeply and it tugs on my heartstrings for summer holidays in childhood in Southwold (though also Dover - but see Kent, later)..... B&B with a beach hut...the boating lake (still there), the pier, the pubs (my father loved his pubs - can you see I have married my father!!!).
I love it too, but only in summer - I find the Siberian winds in winter too much to take. yes to Wales - I think you would love it and it would love you back.
My father (birth one) was a Man of Kent - a solid quiet man, of few words, of depressive mien...fond of pints (too fond)...wounded by the War.
Lad's love.....ah, my heart sighs for you.....so sorry.

Thank heavens I haven't been meme'd!
jxxxxxxx

Sally Townsend said...

Lovely descriptions but don't you dare pass the baton onto me or else you'll find no Aga or water in the pool when you arrive !!

dgibbs said...

well done! The bit about Lad's Love made my arms go all goosebumpy.

Livvy U. said...

It isn't 'maudlin' to speak about what moves you, I don't think. The best writing often springs from it, as here. I really enjoyed learning more about you, thank you for sharing. Sounds like you're living a good life - particularly enjoyable bit about motherhood, too - sentiments I absolutely relate to.

CAMILLA said...

Beautiful Blog SM, your writing truly wonderful.

Have lived in East Anglia for almost 23 years, fell in love with it from when I came here first many years ago at weekend breaks, and long holidays. Missed the buzz of life in West London, but it does not compare to our beautiful countryside and vast big sky's.

Camilla.x

Kitty said...

Very good - have a star and a house point.

And does anyone mind if I don't do my homework? Have a backlog already and am feeling swamped! The dog ate it or something.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

a lovely read as usual. I felt intrigued and saddened by Lad's love, it was beautifully put.

And so relieved that someone else has family moments that rival the Simpsons!
Pigx

Milla said...

Evocative as ever, SM, although you always make me feel a great hoyden in comparison!

Jan said...

Hello Suffolk Mum
I have tagged you on my blog but will certainly forgive you if time is too precious for you to approach it at present.
Hope all is well with you.

Stay at home dad said...

Lovely: another level of the emotive and personal entirely. I think that 'twee' journalist should print an apology.

annakarenin said...

might have been hard work but comes out very well even the maudlin paragraph has beauty.

and Umbria - You seem to have lived such a wide and interesting life, no wonder you write so well.

Hows K settling in? Sam can't manage a whole week full time so I am picking him up at lunch time on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Sort of knew he wouldn't cope without at least one afternoon nap a week.

Fennie said...

A lovely bit of writing. I feel for many of your choices - though sadly I don't know Italy at all. But the others I can relate to so well. Most excellent, double tick, gold star.

Elsie Button said...

i loved this post, particularly the food section. i totally agree about wanting to nurture your children. it's amazing what suddenly kicks in when you have a baby. the kitchen table is really important to me too. it was always the place where my family talked, argued, sang, ate, everything you said...